I am hugely lucky. At the moment I am doing the two things I have always wanted in my life – I take care of my children and I write.
I saw a seriously depressing statistic the other day. It went something like this;
7% of books published make up 92% of book sales.
So basically all of the big names make the sales, the rest of us just fall into oblivion. As I said – depressing.
Things are happening for me, but it is all frustratingly slow. Sometimes I want to fast-forward a couple of years so I can see what position I am in then. If success (and in my eyes that is less to do with fame and fortune, and more simply being able to support my family comfortably while doing what I love) is only round the corner then that is fantastic. If not, then I will have to start thinking about going back to my day job when the baby is old enough. The thought of going back fills me with dread, but if it is what needs to happen then that is what I must do. While my husband is hugely supportive, I can hardly expect for him to put up with me sitting in front of my laptop for the rest of my life if it’s not bringing the cash in.
If I could see into the future and know what was going to happen it would make life easier. I will always keep writing because it is what I love, but I will not put the effort into the other side of it – the queries, the agents, the promotional work. Of course, knowing what is going to happen is impossible, but if you don’t keep trying then you will never know what might have happened.
In the meantime know I am doing all the right things. I write my ass off and I am trying to get my work out there. I just have to make sure I am enjoying what I do at the moment as trying to look too far ahead just ties me in knots.